Well, today is the last day of classes, tomorrow is study day, and finals start on Wednesday. All in all, I have no idea where the semester went. Oh wait. I know. It went to O. because I spent more weekends than is healthy there, meaning approximately 5. That’s 1/3 of my weekends. Insane.
Oh well. I really want this week to be over. I have a final on Wednesday, two on Thursday, and one on Friday. Then another the following Monday. But if I make it to the weekend, I’m home free-ish.
I’ve been sort of in that mood to push everyone away lately. I guess in a sense I feel like they’re pulling away so I should too. We’ll see how that goes.
I’m ready for break. I think the first couple days will be hermit days. Mom, Dad, and Charanna will go to work and the cats and I will hang out and just relax a bit. Then I’ll start field trips and whatnot.
The construction is going on outside my room right now. Thankfully, they didn’t work Saturday this weekend so I slept until 11! I needed it.
Well, I need to get to work, compiling notes for studying and such.
More sometime later.
I’m just tired… and frustrated. And sick of always missing people. There’s never enough time, never.
If I make it through Wednesday, I will be a happy person. I have a presentation. I do not like public speaking. I am also unprepared.
On Friday night, I am going to Marjorie’s house! I am so excited. But I have much to do in the meantime. Hopefully I can focus the next few days on what is essential, homework-wise.
I miss just being able to hang out, pop down to the laundry room to chat, etc. But soon!
Salvation is thy name.
Fill me with joy,
I long for Friday’s cheerful embrace.
by Amy Lowell
All night our room was outer-walled with rain.
Drops fell and flattened on the tin roof,
And rang like little disks of metal.
Ping!– Ping!– and there was not a pinpoint of silence between them.
The rain rattled and clashed,
And the slats of the shutters danced and glittered.
But to me the darkness was red-gold and crocus-coloured
With your brightness,
And the words you whispered to me
Sprang up and flamed– orange torches against the rain.
Torches against the wall of cool, silver rain!
So, I really like this poem. I don’t know exactly why. I just identify with it. For some random reason.
They didn’t have two things of grape tomatoes. I had to get one grape tomato and one cherry tomato. It was almost a disaster. Just kidding.
Harvest dinner was good. Turkey was absolutely delicious.
I get to go “home” on Friday. I am excited, lemme tell ya.
I feel… strange. Like I want to push everyone away from me. Yet I want them to be with me all the time. It’s odd.
I miss my Aunt Beast, even though I saw her two hours ago. I guess I just want to talk to her more. It’s weird.
But I just want to write. I haven’t wanted to write passionately for a long time. I just want to write everything and anything and to have it feel good. I want to write about life. I want to write about love. I want to be deep. I want to be poetic.
I want to love God like I’m supposed to. I want to be the Christian I’m supposed to be.
It’s strange how I connect writing and God. I think expression and God are intertwined in a lot of ways. David was a poet. Solomon was a writer.
I think that since I will be home next year, and perhaps the next, that I will focus a lot of my time on improving my creative writing. On making my ability to express myself key in my life.
I want to be a writer again. Not just an English major.
More on this sometime later.
I have to go get 2-3 cucumbers, 2 things of grape tomatoes, and a giant container of sour cream.
My housemate and his girlfriend, whom I thought had left for an event on campus, just came all the way up to my third floor room to show me that they had one of the other’s gloves on and that they were holding hands with the same colored gloves.
Suffice it to say, I gagged and pretended to vomit.
They laughed. Then left.
Apparently news of my ability to defragment a hard drive is spreading. Papa Don, accountant at O. was asking Marjorie when I would next be around because his computer is running slow. I’m going to have to start charging.
I love early morning phone calls.
Off to office hours for Modern American Lit. Oh Papa Don…
- I have spent the last 3 weekends at O. 2 were planned. The first I already wrote about. The second was O.’s Ladies’ Booster Retreat. 100 old women. Tired. But good I suppose. Sunshine cooked again. It all went well. Spent time with Marjie, of course. Sam wasn’t around: “Dad Weekend.” The third was a surprise. I got an e-mail at 10:30 pm Thursday last that said, basically, “We need you. Art will come get you Friday afternoon if you can come.” So I went. ‘Twas exhausting. But got to hang out with Sunshine. And Marjie and Sam. Sam and I had a clothespin war. Had to bleach my brain a couple times. Long story. Ask me later. But it was good. And Chief and Sunshine brought me back to G. on Sunday and got to see the house. I won’t be going back to O. for at least 3 weeks. But I have a design project in the meantime.
- On a completely unrelated note, I don’t think I’m going to grad school yet. I think I’ll be moving home for at least a year, getting a job, working to pay off some of my loans.
- I’m taking my small group and two other small groups to B. for paintball this weekend. I’m excited. But I have no hat or gloves or a lot of warm clothes with me. It will be… interesting.
That’s really all the update I have time for at the moment. Questions? Comments? You know how to find me.
This past weekend was “fall break” for students at G. It was also “fall festival” at O. So I spent Friday night, all of Saturday and Sunday, and Monday through lunch working. It was exhausting but good. I saw Marjie and Young Samuel, Tiffanie, Chief and Sunshine, Mama Janice and the Captain, Bill and Sue, Bob and Judy, Roger and Mary Ann, the Lindermans, and a lot of other people. It was great to be home and great to be exhausted.
I love spending time with Marjie and Sam. On Friday night, Sam was sitting on the counter at their house while Marjorie was on the phone and he was being silly. When I told him that I would take him and throw him in the lake he told me I couldn’t lift him so I did. We wrestled and laughed and had tons of fun. We had a lot of fun. On Saturday afternoon I went over to the house to hang out for a bit. Marjie and I had “3 o’clock” at 2 something and when she got her second cup, I teased her and took it away. Her reaction? “Leave me alone, let me get high! Let me be!” (coffee, by the way). It was funny and she’ll never live it down.
Sunshine was hilarious this weekend. Especially when she had to stand on a stool to slice turkey on the slicer. I got to melt cheese for the brocolli. Chief was his usual self. It was good to be home.
I’m going back again Friday night for the Ladies’ Retreat. I’m sure I’ll be exhausted by the end of the weekend. Just to warn you all. But it will be good and I will hopefully get to see Marjie for a bit during the day.
Anyway, I’m back in G. and I am tired. I had a paper due today that I didn’t really get done until 10 this morning. Suffice it to say… the latest I will get to sleep for at least another week and a half might be… 7:15… if I push it haha. But it will be ok.
Anyway, I’ve got to get some work done then small group and more homework. I’ll write more after the weekend.